Shadow Work, Healing Codependency, The FOOL
The fool, the character who is unafraid to aim high, swing low, and to be perceived in the vulnerable locus of curiosity.
The fool says "tell me more, whats that? I don't know! How curious and exciting!"
Jung describes the Fool as being a “potential future,” who through various attempts and failures, gains experience. A friend was sharing with me about the reverse of the fool in the tarot which can indicate being reckless, risky, impulsive, unsettled, restless, and contemplating making a change. Upon reflection I became aware of the inner workings of the system between the two fools. Where have I called myself foolish when I really meant brave? For me, seeking to understand the relationship between the up and down, shadow and light, helps me find agency, choice, and awareness.
When the Fool is light: Innocence, freedom, adventure, newness, wonderment, and spontaneity
When in Shadow: recklessness, negligence, non-comital attitudes, distraction, and apathy, careless.
I wondered in this sifting- where we all may be holding on to self limiting beliefs of the shadow side, the down turn fool, as the ONLY possible role response when faced with change, call to adventure, something unfamiliar. Perhaps in the shape of imposter syndrome, self sabotage, self-blame.
Are you, like so many of us often are, quick to the impulse to internalize possibility as unknown, scary, unobtainable, anticipated defeat, "not for me because ME can't BE that"?
If we are participating in grasping to this willful belief we ARE ONLY shadow, might this be keeping us from the spontaneous faith, creativity, worthiness, love, and play that we could otherwise permit? This may not even be about achieving or pursuing a goal, but rather about permitting a compassionate kind of playful self.
Perhaps believing we are only shadow won us points with someone who couldn't possibly envision our grand fullness or join us in inspiration and growth. I know that can be really tough to release. And, I do find, it's possible to slowly let go. If we move towards our light with that, might we answer the call of the adventure, the journey, and expand where we have contracted before? There is always the next moment. Maybe there is opportunity for a new pattern here.
I offer this- Where have you internalized another's misperception of you, or who they possibly NEEDED you to be, as ALL YOU are worth? Is there fear to let go of this, for the fear of loss of that connection? Queers, you feel me on this?
Alright I'll stop asking the big QUESTIONS. I know, I know its a newsletter. Ahemmmm...
I invite you to ponder releasing these narratives, or loosening them, invite yourself to catch the wind of curiosity with yourself whenever it becomes accessible to you this month. This doesn't mean getting rid of that part of yourself that attempted to fulfill another's needs completely. It means making it a CHOICE when you step into that role, rather than it being your only option to feel valued.
A practice...
Could you slip into adventure in small ways to invite play? Play tag with the dog, lay on the floor upside down with your feet up on the couch while you talk on the phone like your're 12 again, finger paint, take a new route on a familiar commute, wear a color you usually avoid ( I know- SO wild, LOOK at THAT imagination I've got there!)
Insert Sound Cue Joni Mitchell singing
"I am on a lonely road and I am travelin' travelin' travelin'...its the unravelling...".
APRIL 1 2022
